Friday, December 4, 2020

DECEMBER5/2020-MY 75th Birthday

What does it mean to me to turn 75,three quarters of a century old,late stage of the fourth quarter of my life?  
First thought and emotion, I am glad to be alive,to have been blessed to reach this stage of life.
"Praise to you,Adonai our G-d,Sovereign of the universe,for giving us life,sustaining us, and enabling us to reach this season." 
My paternal DNA is saturated with heart disease, leading to a shortened lifespan to most males in my father's family. My maternal DNA, on the other,despite physical and emotional challenges,has possibilities, as my mother lived well into her late 80's
 Having made it to 75,I am well aware of my blessings of apparent  good health,the mental and physical capacity to continue practicing my craft,a multitude of family and friends who give a damn about me, and interests and passions that allow me to grow. Above else it is the relationships with my significant other, family and friends that propel me forward.
 At this stage of life,hopefully you have acquired a set of values,that bring you a perspective on life,and dare I say it "wisdom".Wisdom means experiencing inner peace and knowing one's priorities.No longer do I seek out materialistic gains but rather spiritual and emotional connections.Knowing one's priorities makes life simpler 
I no longer need to impress others or seek their approval.My life ,at this stage, is mine and whom I chose to share it, is my decision Roles no longer exist for me,I chose to follow my own beat of the drums and pursue life as I see fit.
 Having this perspective on life allows me to be a mentor to the younger generation,whether it be my clients,colleagues or grandchildren.I do this through personal interactions,my blogs,lectures or just plain frank conversation. 
My 6 adorable grandchildren have allowed me to be a part of their lives,which I am extremely grateful.My children tell me that as I age I have lost my filter.I prefer to look at as talking from the heart with no BS. 
In my latter stage of life, I have no patience for individuals who manipulate or dictate but seek others who talk from the heart, are compassionate, non-judgmental and listen.
 Time is short. I intend to grow,to offer wisdom to the next generation,and to try to live my life in a meaningful manner. 

Monday, September 7, 2020


 What happens to all of us when there is a pandemic that is making our families and friends sick and dying? Psychologically we do not feel in control of our lives.We feel sad, stressed,confused,anxious, scared and worried.  

Each of us,whether we admit it or not,have our own psychological vulnerability.For some it is to worry or feel anxious, for others it is to be aggressive or angry, still others somatize or become hyperviligant of their surroundings.The pandemic has the power to prey on all of us, causing an exacerbation of our symptoms. 

 There is absolutely no question that COVID-19 has had an effect on our mental health.   

A Deloitte study estimates that emergency room visits for stress and anxiety related disorders will increase 1-3% from pre-pandemic rates.Another study ,based on data from SARS, predicts 11 million Canadians will experience high levels of stress. 

The majority of COVID-19 survivors suffer at least one mental disorder, one month post treatment The Journal of Brain,Behaviour, and Immunity screened 400 adult survivors, 55% had a clinical score for

 at least one mental disorder: 





Obsessive compulsive symptoms-20%

 COVId-19 has now become a long,long haul. There is no quick fix.We 

all  have to learn to cope better.Pandemic exhaustion is catching up to all of us.We are tired,cranky,and want to resume our normal activities.Common feelings include:

 - a sense of being socially excluded

 -lose of belonging to a community 

-worry about our grandchildren going back to school

- fear of getting sick or making others sick

 -fear of being apart from loved ones

 -helplessness,boredom,loneliness,and depression 


 CO-VID19  is showing no signs of abating.Indeed ,many of us are worried about a second wave this fall.The following remarks about coping are meant for those of you who are experiencing a mild to moderate degree of worry ,anxiety,isolation or feelings of lack of control. 

For those of you whose symptoms are more severe,I have listed local resources at the end of the article and urge you to contact your family Doctor or other health professional.

 All of us have a certain degree of stress in our daily lives.The pandemic has served to magnify those concerns. 

1) Anxiety

 Anxiety is an early warning to the body that we are under threat.Certainty CO-VID19 qualifies as  a threat to all of us..Typically people respond in a flight or fight manner.However, if we attempt to reflect, it is possible to gain a better understanding of the real issues that are concerning us.Yoga,mediation, breathing exercise, and physical  exercise are all good ways to cope with anxiety.


 Make social connections a priority.It is essential to stay in touch with friends,family and neighbours. Use the phone,text,Email, Zoom or Face Time. People need to hear your voice and know you are OK 

3)Practice Self-compassion

 Care for others but also be gentle and care for yourself. 

Activities help build self-care.The key is develop activities that  you enjoy and our passionate about.Incorporate them into your daily or weekly routine. 

Write in a journal,volunteer for a meaningful cause,make a gratitude list,meditate or visualize,take a nap, have a nice meal,listen to music,,take up  a  new hobby,write a blog,read a book,go for a drive,exercise,practice good nutrition,turn off electronic devices,dance,garden,get creative :draw,paint,write or cook a new meal, 

 4)Stay Active 

Rejoin AJA,take a course or exercise.Keeping your body fit and your mind active is great for your mental health. 

 5)Relaxation,yoga,mediation and deep breathing are all wonderful ways of reducing stress.

 6)Establish  a new structure or routine.

 7)Get a good night sleep that recharges the body and allows you to start the day with 100% energy 

8) Reduce intake of news.

 Limit coverage of the news to 1or2 brief exposure to a credible source.Stop watching the news at night. 

9) The pandemic is an opportunity to develop our inner resources,take stock of our lives,change our priorities so that we spend our lives in a more rewarding and  meaningful way."What can I change in my life to have a more interesting and meaningful experience?"  

 Based on Israel studies of how people cope with trauma, Professor Lahad,founder and president of Community,Stress Prevention Centre suggests the following coping strategies.

 A) We need to realize that this too shall pass.

 B)Go with the emotional ups and downs.

 C)Establish a new routine.

 D)Acknowledge and celebrate your small successes and joys. 



 For those of you in a crisis or who are experiencing symptoms of severe anxiety ,depression,PTSD or suicidal thoughts, I would strongly recommend being seen by your family physician  or healthcare provider . If you are in an extreme emergency or suicide risk go immediately to the Emergency Department of your nearest hospital.  


 1) Your family physician

 2)The Ottawa Academy of Psychology 613-235-2529

 3)Ottawa Distress Centre-613-238-3311 

4)Mental Health Crisis Line-613-722-6914

 5)Ottawa Public Health- 613-580-6744 

^6) 911 for emergency or suicide risk

 Be Safe. 




Sunday, April 19, 2020


April/2020 has brought to the world the pandemic COVID-19.In Canada, as the incidents and deaths due to COVID-19 soars,the governments,(both federal and provincial), have enacted emergency legislation to slow down the spread of the disease. The purpose of this legislation is to prevent the health care system collapsing.
 One of these measures is social distancing.keeping at least 2 meters(6 feet), away from others.Recently our local counselor,had the foresight  to make us safer by closing down one of the local roads to vehicle traffic.
 Despite these best intentions, social distancing is a foreign concept to most individuals, who seek and need others.Thus I find myself walking on a local street , constantly on the lookout for others who either through ignorance or rebelliousness breach my safety zone of 6 feet.
 I zigzag down the street, much like a drunken sailor to avoid the bikers,walkers and runners who neglect to watch for others in their attempt to maintain their exercise routine.I am tempted to carry a 6 foot walking pole on other side of my body to protect myself. I saw on YouTube one creative individual who wore a 6 foot hula hoop attached to his body.
Yesterday while walking, I encountered a mother and her 2 teenage daughters walking down the middle of the road showing total negligence of social distancing.When I politely ask them to move over, the look I got was unmistakably hostile.A few days earlier I experienced the total opposite reaction.A young mother with her 2 preschool children, upon seeing me approach them,waited at a safe distance as I crossed the street
 Survey data indicates 70% of Canadians are practicing social distancing.This is not good enough.If you are not worried about getting COVID-19 yourself please think of your elderly grandparents and others with compromised immune systems who are dying from this disease
 We all need to do better to help our vulnerable neighbours and to listen and obey the rules issued by our public health officials.This is our generation's  WORLD WAR 111, and how we respond will determine the world we leave our children and our children's children.
As a practicing clinical psychologist if you need help coping don't hesitate to reach out to those of us in the mental health field.I can be reached at 613-228-9394.
 Be well, be safe and together we can get through these difficult times.

Monday, March 30, 2020


I greet you from New Zealand,a population of 5 million people.nicknamed Kiwis,after the elusive ,nocturnal,flightless bird.Kiwis have a  popular saying"Hatches,Matches and Dispatches."Births,weddings and death are the important events of one's life. Kiwis keep it simple and have a fundamental sense of what is right and what is important.
New Zealand,consists of 2 main islands created from volcanic eruptions many years ago,with only one active volcano,located on White Island,some 200 km from Auckland. White Island,the site of a recent eruption, in which 39 people were killed,is a source of stress for many Kiwis.I read  an account in a local paper that many nurses on duty that day have not returned to work.As our ship circumvented the island we all felt the somber mood of the tragedy.
 Geo physically, New Zealand is divided by 2 dramatically different islands.The South,more isolated,is blessed with the natural beauty of the fiords and the tree lined mountain range  reaching the sea.Home to seals,dolphins penguins and many birds including the 10 meter span albatross, the South Island is an out door paradise.The people are proud,hardy,adaptable and have a strong sense of community.
We visited one such community. Oban,Stewart Island, at the mosy southern tip of the island, where 400 hardy souls are totally isolated from the mainland.Despite their isolation,they have managed to develop a thriving fishing and tourist industry.During our stay we visited a local community center built and maintained by volunteers The building had all the amenities of a modern recreation center.
Similarly, visiting other Southern Island communities,we found all of them had a sense of community,pride in their natural heritage, and respect for the land.Climate and environmental issues are the number one concern for Kiwis.Indeed,fully 86% of New Zealand's resources are renewable. A record we should all emulate.
Our first stop on the Northern Island was Wellington,the capital of New Zealand.We visited the
 impressive legislative building,nicknamed the "Beehive"for it's physical resemblance to a bee hive.New Zealand is governed by a left leaning coalition led by an impressive 38 year old single mother Jacinthe Rearden. She is highly admired for her compassion and diplomacy. Inclusivity is a theme practiced by the government.One example is the respect given the Maori aboriginals by the government This theme of inclusivity is also practiced by the people of New Zealand. On Sunday mornings the Catholic Church holds their traditional services,on Sunday afternoon, the church rents the hall to Muslims, who hold their traditional services.
The North Island is home to many island and beaches.Auckland,with a population of 11/2 million people is known as the "City of Sails" with 1/3 of it's citizens owning a boat.Auckland city extends over a narrow isthmus joining the Pacific ocean and the Tasmanian.sea.Auckland has the world 's largest Polynesian population. The city  with it's dozens of islands is a magnet for boaters,fishing enthusiasts and hikers.
I learned why "The All Blacks",New Zealand's famous rugby team has as it's symbol the silver fern plant.Legion has it,the Maori were tracking through the woods and turned the leaf over to it's illumines underside which allowed the warriors to track at night.After the last warrior passed he turned the leaf over and they could not be followed.
 A personal experience I had in Napier, a coastal town on the Northern Island,had a major impact on me in New Zealand.While in port for the day, I left my I pad, containing 4000 pictures I had taken, at a coffee shop.After returning to the ship I realized my mistake.I tried unsuccessfully to retrieve my I pad by contacting the front office of the ship to no avail.Fortunately the next day I made direct contact with the ship's agent in Napier. Fortunately he had been found my I-pad and couriered it to me at our next stop at my hotel in Auckland. I am very grateful to him and to the people of Napier for their compassion ,integrity and decency.


The people of New Zealand are uniformly kind,warm,considerate,laid back and proud of their land.They have a respect fior their environment that is much to admire.In all of my world travels I have never seen cities that were as clean and well maintained.Certainly the highlight of the trip was the reception we received from the people of New Zealand.
 Recently in the world of psychology I live in  I've begun to classify people as either"They get it", or"they don't get it".".Kiwis get it.They intuitively know what is important,family,health,education and community.Moreover it is a society of inclusiveness where the government actively provides a strong social safety net for all it's citizens.
Simply stated" they get it".If I were a young man I would get me to New Zealand,the land of opportunity.


Good-day mates from down under in the beautiful,warm and friendly Australia.After 3 weeks travel we have just boarded our ship(TheMaasdam,Holland America) in Sydney and our steaming toward Tasmania our last stop in Australia,before we cross the treacherous Tasmanian sea to the South Island of NewZealand.
 While in Australia we were treated to the most pristine sand beaches,cities that sparkle, the exotic wild life including the endangered koala, the kangaroo, and the mystical Tasmanian  devil.However it is to the people of Australia who make you feel so welcome.Warm,gracious and your perfect host they take great pride in their country.
While travelling to Bondi Beach in Sydney via public transportation,we meet an elderly man who insisted he take us to our destination.I tell ever Aussie that we are their Canadian cousins.On one occasion while driving(on the left side of the road),on the Great Ocean Rode, we double parked blocking 3 cars. After I had taken my picture,returning to the car, I was confronted by one of the owners of the  car I had blocked in.Instead of scolding me, he proceeded to act a a tour guide,telling us what to see on the road.
Where ever we went in Australia we were met by people only too happy to help.After asking directions and thanking them, the typical response was " no trouble, no drama".

 Impressions Of Australia

 A beautiful,young,vibrate country which offers a warm inviting climate.The country although not overtly friendly to immigrates, is a rich,fertile land where there are many opportunities to succeed
 Just as Sydney is the business capital,Melbourne is ,host too many universities as well as many cultural events.A Population of 24 million,with more than half in 3 cities, there are many opportunities in the outback for those with pioneering spirits.
Notwithstanding it's beauty and politics,what resonates with me, is the warmth,laid back attitude of the people.

Wednesday, January 15, 2020


"Blessed art thou.Lord our G-d,King of the universe,who has granted us life and sustenance and permitted us to reach this season."
The above blessing,traditionally said over the Yom Kippur(day of atonement) lights, is for me a very important blessing,a  celebration of  being alive.Being alive means an individual has an opportunity  to grow, to learn, and to partake in meaningful experiences that make life so interesting.
 Closely related to being alive is the blessing of good health and quality of life.Thankfully I have recovered from my personal illness and enjoy a high quality of life.At this stage of life,what one of my clients calls,late in the fourth quarter,one unfortunately hears almost daily of family,friends and colleagues who have major health issues, which place severe restrictions on them.
 Aging, a natural process, is clearly a blessing,despite it's many challenges including dealing with both physical and psychological losses.One of the keys to aging gracefully is to accept our new limitations.I often joke, I am an ex-athlete because clearly my athletic skills have severely diminished over time.When playing golf I now take advantage of my age , choosing to play the front tees.
 Despite my limitations, I feel blessed that I am able to participate in activities like pickle ball, golf,and attend my fitness club on a regular bases.
 Perhaps one of my greatest assets is my positive attitude toward life.When I wake up in the morning I am thankful to be alive. I know as the day progresses that my aches and pains will lesson.As we journey thru life we all face major obstacles,health issues, financial trouble,family concerns and a myriad of concerns that we must learn to cope and resolve.Yet thru all the ups and downs I remain optimistic about life. I feel an inner peace and self confidence that all will be right in my life.
I feel blessed that I am capable of practicing my craft.At the ripe age of 74, I feel blessed to have the intellectual and emotional resources to do so.I find it both a privilege and a passion that contribute to my feelings of well being.
To my clients thank you for trusting me with your most inner thoughts,demons and conflicts over a period of 48 years.I am truly blessed to have you as my clients and have learned and grown with you as we worked together to resolve your issues.
 To my professional colleagues, my friends, I thank you for your support ,your counsel and your wisdom thru the years. It has been a pleasure to be associated with you.
It is a blessing  to have friends from all walks of life,some professional others not , but all with compassion for their fellow man.Some friends I share a long history going back to school in Winnipeg, others I have meet since coming  to live in Ottawa.A few of my friends I would consider soul mates. Somehow we have this deep understanding of each other and are their for each other in our time of need.
Recently I shared Christmas dinner with a friend who I initially meet as a colleague but thru the years we became very close as we shared lives ups and downs including simultaneously successfully battling cancer together.She is positively the most caring person I have ever met.To these and many friends too numerous to mention,I feel blessed to have been part of .your lives.
Family,my 3 sons,their partners, my 6 grandchildren my brother and sister and their families,have all  been there for me over the years.All made the effort to visit me 3 years ago during my serious illness.An act I truly appreciate.
 We always get together to celebrate family milestones.
I sometimes joke I was brought home by the wrong family since I do not physical resemble my siblings. Although we occasionally disagree on our priorities, for the most part we get along well.As we age,we have all mellowed,bringing us closer together
I feel blessed for my recovery from major colon-rectal surgery some 3 years ago.Although I now face some limitations, for the most part I have regained my strength and am able to participate in most activities,  albeit at a slower pace.
 I am convinced,that my overall fitness level as well as my positive attitude is a contributing factor to my survival and recovery from cancer.
Finally I would like to thank my partner,who has supported me  and has made major changes to her lifestyle as I adjusted to my new circumstances.Thank you for your patience and understanding.
LIFE'S Lesson
Life is a blessing, one's attitude  and reactions to the vicissitudes of life is everything.Maintain your inner peace and integrity and life will bring you many blessings.