TRAVELS WITH DR DAVID

I greet you from New Zealand,a population of 5 million people.nicknamed Kiwis,after the elusive ,nocturnal,flightless bird.Kiwis have a  popular saying"Hatches,Matches and Dispatches."Births,weddings and death are the important events of one's life. Kiwis keep it simple and have a fundamental sense of what is right and what is important.
New Zealand,consists of 2 main islands created from volcanic eruptions many years ago,with only one active volcano,located on White Island,some 200 km from Auckland. White Island,the site of a recent eruption, in which 39 people were killed,is a source of stress for many Kiwis.I read  an account in a local paper that many nurses on duty that day have not returned to work.As our ship circumvented the island we all felt the somber mood of the tragedy.
 Geo physically, New Zealand is divided by 2 dramatically different islands.The South,more isolated,is blessed with the natural beauty of the fiords and the tree lined mountain range  reaching the sea.Home to seals,dolphins penguins and many birds including the 10 meter span albatross, the South Island is an out door paradise.The people are proud,hardy,adaptable and have a strong sense of community.
We visited one such community. Oban,Stewart Island, at the mosy southern tip of the island, where 400 hardy souls are totally isolated from the mainland.Despite their isolation,they have managed to develop a thriving fishing and tourist industry.During our stay we visited a local community center built and maintained by volunteers The building had all the amenities of a modern recreation center.
Similarly, visiting other Southern Island communities,we found all of them had a sense of community,pride in their natural heritage, and respect for the land.Climate and environmental issues are the number one concern for Kiwis.Indeed,fully 86% of New Zealand's resources are renewable. A record we should all emulate.
Our first stop on the Northern Island was Wellington,the capital of New Zealand.We visited the
 impressive legislative building,nicknamed the "Beehive"for it's physical resemblance to a bee hive.New Zealand is governed by a left leaning coalition led by an impressive 38 year old single mother Jacinthe Rearden. She is highly admired for her compassion and diplomacy. Inclusivity is a theme practiced by the government.One example is the respect given the Maori aboriginals by the government This theme of inclusivity is also practiced by the people of New Zealand. On Sunday mornings the Catholic Church holds their traditional services,on Sunday afternoon, the church rents the hall to Muslims, who hold their traditional services.
The North Island is home to many island and beaches.Auckland,with a population of 11/2 million people is known as the "City of Sails" with 1/3 of it's citizens owning a boat.Auckland city extends over a narrow isthmus joining the Pacific ocean and the Tasmanian.sea.Auckland has the world 's largest Polynesian population. The city  with it's dozens of islands is a magnet for boaters,fishing enthusiasts and hikers.
I learned why "The All Blacks",New Zealand's famous rugby team has as it's symbol the silver fern plant.Legion has it,the Maori were tracking through the woods and turned the leaf over to it's illumines underside which allowed the warriors to track at night.After the last warrior passed he turned the leaf over and they could not be followed.
 A personal experience I had in Napier, a coastal town on the Northern Island,had a major impact on me in New Zealand.While in port for the day, I left my I pad, containing 4000 pictures I had taken, at a coffee shop.After returning to the ship I realized my mistake.I tried unsuccessfully to retrieve my I pad by contacting the front office of the ship to no avail.Fortunately the next day I made direct contact with the ship's agent in Napier. Fortunately he had been found my I-pad and couriered it to me at our next stop at my hotel in Auckland. I am very grateful to him and to the people of Napier for their compassion ,integrity and decency.

 IMPRESSIONS OF THE PEOPLE OF NEW ZEALAND

The people of New Zealand are uniformly kind,warm,considerate,laid back and proud of their land.They have a respect fior their environment that is much to admire.In all of my world travels I have never seen cities that were as clean and well maintained.Certainly the highlight of the trip was the reception we received from the people of New Zealand.
 Recently in the world of psychology I live in  I've begun to classify people as either"They get it", or"they don't get it".".Kiwis get it.They intuitively know what is important,family,health,education and community.Moreover it is a society of inclusiveness where the government actively provides a strong social safety net for all it's citizens.
Simply stated" they get it".If I were a young man I would get me to New Zealand,the land of opportunity.

TRAVELS WITH DR DAVID

Good-day mates from down under in the beautiful,warm and friendly Australia.After 3 weeks travel we have just boarded our ship(TheMaasdam,Holland America) in Sydney and our steaming toward Tasmania our last stop in Australia,before we cross the treacherous Tasmanian sea to the South Island of NewZealand.
 While in Australia we were treated to the most pristine sand beaches,cities that sparkle, the exotic wild life including the endangered koala, the kangaroo, and the mystical Tasmanian  devil.However it is to the people of Australia who make you feel so welcome.Warm,gracious and your perfect host they take great pride in their country.
While travelling to Bondi Beach in Sydney via public transportation,we meet an elderly man who insisted he take us to our destination.I tell ever Aussie that we are their Canadian cousins.On one occasion while driving(on the left side of the road),on the Great Ocean Rode, we double parked blocking 3 cars. After I had taken my picture,returning to the car, I was confronted by one of the owners of the  car I had blocked in.Instead of scolding me, he proceeded to act a a tour guide,telling us what to see on the road.
Where ever we went in Australia we were met by people only too happy to help.After asking directions and thanking them, the typical response was " no trouble, no drama".

 Impressions Of Australia

 A beautiful,young,vibrate country which offers a warm inviting climate.The country although not overtly friendly to immigrates, is a rich,fertile land where there are many opportunities to succeed
 Just as Sydney is the business capital,Melbourne is ,host too many universities as well as many cultural events.A Population of 24 million,with more than half in 3 cities, there are many opportunities in the outback for those with pioneering spirits.
Notwithstanding it's beauty and politics,what resonates with me, is the warmth,laid back attitude of the people.

MY BLESSINGS

"Blessed art thou.Lord our G-d,King of the universe,who has granted us life and sustenance and permitted us to reach this season."

The above blessing,traditionally said over the Yom Kippur(day of atonement) lights, is for me a very important blessing,a  celebration of  being alive.Being alive means an individual has an opportunity  to grow, to learn, and to partake in meaningful experiences that make life so interesting.

 Closely related to being alive is the blessing of good health and quality of life.Thankfully I have recovered from my personal illness and enjoy a high quality of life.At this stage of life,what one of my clients calls,late in the fourth quarter,one unfortunately hears almost daily of family,friends and colleagues who have major health issues, which place severe restrictions on them.
 Aging, a natural process, is clearly a blessing,despite it's many challenges including dealing with both physical and psychological losses.One of the keys to aging gracefully is to accept our new limitations.I often joke, I am an ex-athlete because clearly my athletic skills have severely diminished over time.When playing golf I now take advantage of my age , choosing to play the front tees.
 Despite my limitations, I feel blessed that I am able to participate in activities like pickle ball, golf,and attend my fitness club on a regular bases.
 Perhaps one of my greatest assets is my positive attitude toward life.When I wake up in the morning I am thankful to be alive. I know as the day progresses that my aches and pains will lesson.As we journey thru life we all face major obstacles,health issues, financial trouble,family concerns and a myriad of concerns that we must learn to cope and resolve.Yet thru all the ups and downs I remain optimistic about life. I feel an inner peace and self confidence that all will be right in my life.
I feel blessed that I am capable of practicing my craft.At the ripe age of 74, I feel blessed to have the intellectual and emotional resources to do so.I find it both a privilege and a passion that contribute to my feelings of well being.
To my clients thank you for trusting me with your most inner thoughts,demons and conflicts over a period of 48 years.I am truly blessed to have you as my clients and have learned and grown with you as we worked together to resolve your issues.
 To my professional colleagues, my friends, I thank you for your support ,your counsel and your wisdom thru the years. It has been a pleasure to be associated with you.
It is a blessing  to have friends from all walks of life,some professional others not , but all with compassion for their fellow man.Some friends I share a long history going back to school in Winnipeg, others I have meet since coming  to live in Ottawa.A few of my friends I would consider soul mates. Somehow we have this deep understanding of each other and are their for each other in our time of need.
Recently I shared Christmas dinner with a friend who I initially meet as a colleague but thru the years we became very close as we shared lives ups and downs including simultaneously successfully battling cancer together.She is positively the most caring person I have ever met.To these and many friends too numerous to mention,I feel blessed to have been part of .your lives.
Family,my 3 sons,their partners, my 6 grandchildren my brother and sister and their families,have all  been there for me over the years.All made the effort to visit me 3 years ago during my serious illness.An act I truly appreciate.
 We always get together to celebrate family milestones.
I sometimes joke I was brought home by the wrong family since I do not physical resemble my siblings. Although we occasionally disagree on our priorities, for the most part we get along well.As we age,we have all mellowed,bringing us closer together
I feel blessed for my recovery from major colon-rectal surgery some 3 years ago.Although I now face some limitations, for the most part I have regained my strength and am able to participate in most activities,  albeit at a slower pace.
 I am convinced,that my overall fitness level as well as my positive attitude is a contributing factor to my survival and recovery from cancer.
Finally I would like to thank my partner,who has supported me  and has made major changes to her lifestyle as I adjusted to my new circumstances.Thank you for your patience and understanding.
LIFE'S Lesson
Life is a blessing, one's attitude  and reactions to the vicissitudes of life is everything.Maintain your inner peace and integrity and life will bring you many blessings.

SPIRITUALITY AND PSYCHOLOGY

As a wondering Jew(I have practiced many versions of Judaism), I chose to incorporate into my life, many concepts of orthodox, conservative and reform Judaism that I can personally relate to.By way of example, all male orthodox Jews wear tallis,(prayer shawls)while attending synagogue on Saturday mornings,when the Torah(5 books of Moses),is brought out. A custom I follow ,despite attending a Reform synagogue where this is uncommon.

 Personally, to be a Jew,is to be a responsible,caring human being who trys to help others.For an orthodox Jew, as I understand it, the goal is to make the world a better place,so that G-d will return.For this to be accomplished,it is incumbent on Jews to perform the 613 Mitzvahs(blessings),in the Torah.According to orthodox doctrine, any one mitzvah,can be the one that makes G-d return to earth. 

As a wondering Jew I subscribe to the concept of making the world a better place.(  Tikun Olam) I believe strongly that each of us has a purpose and it is incumbent on all of us to find our calling. For me it is to continue to practice my craft and to help my clients find their purpose in life.
 As a young boy of 10,I asked my agnostic father,"what is a jew?' A jew is someone who does good deeds." Simple but elegant.I read one scholarly argument that the difference between religion and spirituality is the difference between thought and action.In the view of one orthodox Rabbi, a religious person attempts to put G-d in all aspects of his/her life.
One way in which spirituality is defined is by Dr. Stephen Diamond in Evil Deeds,"Spirituality can be best be characterized by psychological growth,creativity,consciousness,and emotional maturation."Essentially spirituality is the process of seeing and understanding life as it is with both it's tragic events as well as it's more joyous experiences.
 My take it does not matter whether you consider yourself religious or spiritual ,as long as that means taking action to help others and make the world a better place.
 By way of background I am presently a reform Jew,  however at other times in my life I have been conservative with a healthy exposure to orthodox Judaism.From this personal perspective as a practicing clinical psychologist, I have concluded that G-d is a psychologist.How else to explain that the laws and customs of Judaism follow sound clinical principles of psychology..
 Let us look at "Shiva",the 7 day ritual of mourning the dead that almost all Jews, both religious and secular follow.After the burial,family and friends gather around  the mourners to offer comfort in their time of grief.This consists of providing food, sharing stories about the deceased,and generally offering emotional support to the bereaved.
 Psychologically  this is sound as it provides a celebration of life. The mourner feels support and is able to put the death of the bereaved into perspective with the life cycle.Essentially the mourner receives the time honoured ritual of support and love of his/her community.
Similarly. Rosha Hashana(The Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur(the day of atonement), are the perfect example of the marriage between psychology and Judaism.In preparing for Yom Kippur.where Jews ask G-d for forgiveness, there are required to do the same of people they have hurt in the past year. Similarly they are asked to forgive those who have hurt them.Psychologically, this process of forgiving, is extremely beneficial to both partners and allows, bitterness,hate and bad feelings to be discharged.This promotes healing  between the parties.
For an observant Jew, the process of preparing for the day of atonement, includes a period of self discovery,that prepares oneself for the cleansing of Yom Kippur. During this process, which typically occurs during the month preceding New Years, a person examines his//her life ,values,relationships, in order to become a better person in the New Year.Thus the goal is to try and become a more holy and compassionate person in the New Year.
 As a clinical psychologist who works with clients who have been traumatized,hurt and rejected, I see the process of psychotherapy as being an attempt to examine their lives and become more human and compassionate human beings. Clearly the process of psychotherapy. and  examining your life before the high holidays  are similar process leading to self grow and self fulfillment.
 Rabbi Hillel, a well known Rabbi, is perhaps most famous for the following quote.
 "If I am not for myself, who is for me?
If I care only for myself,what am I.If not now,when."
 The above quote addresses 2 basic human needs,namely the need to have your own distinctive identity and the need to belong to a community.
 Hillel's quote perfectly describes the balance between taking care of yourself and being there
 for others needs.
 The last part of the quote addresses the issue of living in the presence,a sign of good mental health.
During the latter part of my 48 years of practicing psychology I have intuitively felt that spirituality was an important component of psychotherapy enabling the client to find personal meaning in life.
In my view,there is a parallel process between psychotherapy and religious/spiritual pursuits.
 Simply stated there is more than one way to climb the mountain of self actualization and self growth
LIFE"S LESSON
Follow your own unique. journey of life and path up the mountain. Find your passion ,live it and be open to the experiences and challenges of life.

 I wish all of you a warm,fulfilling and meaningful New Year.