CLOSE TO THE END OF MY JOURNEY

 The bomb, within my body, has just exploded. For the past week my bowel has been completely blocked.Immediate medical attention was required. A call to the paramedics and I was almost immediately taken to the Ottawa hospital. After waiting in the hallway for about half a hour I was taken to an observation room in Emergency. 

Upon  examination the Dr. ordered a CAT scan of my abdomen as he was concerned I had a blocked bowel.As expected the Cat Scan confirmed ,

my worst fears. My cancer had spread  to my abdomen where indeed  my bowel was massively blocked.This was a life alternating event which would shorten  my life expectancy,If the blockage did not clear I had less than 2 weeks to live, 

 Discussion with the surgical resident indicated surgery to put a stent in the bowel, was high risk and not recommended. The plan was to involve palliative care to keep me comfortable.In addition, the social worker would apply for hospice care outside of the hospital.I was simply to sick to go back to my senior residence. 

The next day,suddenly my bowel begin slowly to work. My appetite returned and I was able to eat and digest normally.This was a shock to me however the surgeon pointed  out that it would have no effect on my life expectancy.

 At this stage I know I have a significantly lower life expectantly.The journey is not over,but I am close to the end of the life I have known.

 Thank you all for your support,love and prayers.

 Shalom 

G-d bless

 Love David

WAITING

 I find myself with stage 4 colon-rectal cancer waiting for the bomb to go off. I have no idea, when or where my untreated cancer will go.At this time my cancer has not hit a major organ. I realize that could happen at any time.Truth be told I am living on bored time.

 Currently I am battling an abdominal flu which has incapacitated me.. For now I have restricted myself to my room so as not to infect other vulnerable residents.Isolation has allowed me to reflect on my situation.I have resided for 8 months at this senior residence and for the most part it has gone well.I realize I need to be here for the care and support I am receiving.

 My restricted mobility,fatique associated with my cancer have all served to limit my energy. The only times I go out is to medical and dental appointments. Socially I have a few dedicated visitors but for the most part I receive very few invitations from my previous social contacts.

 I have tried to meet new people here and to attempt various  new activities. At this stage I hope to blog regularly,try drawing.to attend lectures and play the odd game of bridge. 

Financially I have budgeted well and for the most part I have not had to go into capital to reside here.

 My goal is to try to reach my 80th birthday.

My faith,compassion and empathy remain at the highest level.

 Thank you all for your support and prayers. 

David

MY 79th BIRTHDAY

:Praised are you Lord our G-d, king of the universe for granting us life, for sustaining us and helping us to reach this day." 

I didn't expect to reach this day.Having Stage 4 cancer, untreated for a year, it is very hard to predict the consequences.For the most part I'm doing well coping with fatiquie, 

As stated previously I have intergrated well into my new senior residence. 

Tonight I will have a quiet family dinner to celebrate my birthday.

 What lessons I have learned to pass on to the next generation? 

What remains to be done before my departure? 

The primary lesson is simply The Golden Rule. 

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

 That is, treat people with respect,dignity,and listen and don't judge.I believe we are put on earth to make it a better place. Each act of kindness and compassion is a blessing 

What's left to do?I have put my affairs in order and hope to spend time with family and friends.I realize my physical world has shrunk considerably but hopefully my compassionate and spiritual world is expanding.

 G-d bless and thank you for all your support and prayers.

 David

 

FYI

 FYI my sympatico Email  address is no longer active. If you would like to reach me please contact me at my new Email  address   dmnozick@gmail.com  

Thank you for your support during this difficult period of my life. 

David